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all the pretty girls go to the city

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In 18 days, 21 hours, and 34 mintues I will be 21. [02 Nov 2006|07:26am]
I'm going to NY for the weekend.
I am excitied.
I have never really been to NY.
Today has been one of the most stressful days of my life and I am glad its over.
But I have a lot to look forward to for the rest of the month.
I just need to get by this really hard part and not lose hope of things.
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[19 Oct 2006|05:08am]
[ mood | giddy ]

I just had the funnest radio show ever.
So many people called in to say they were listening. I know Richie, Matt, Rayhan, Brad, Colm, Kim, Farhan, and Alison were all listening. Rayhan and Brad were listening in their car and they heard about the bet that says if we get 500 people to join our facebook group then Adam and I will do our show naked. So they decide to run into the station and yell naked party while Rayhan pulls off his shirt and Brad pulls down his pants. It was hilarious. We also had a clip from the last project runway play to say who won. Pretty much all of them made request or called to say Hi and ask how we were doing. It was amazing. It made me so happy and feel so good that I know such awesome people. I really love my friends.

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[15 Oct 2006|11:21pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I just had an amazing weekend. things included karaoke, buying my first drink at a bar illegally, getting my first drink bought for me, going to WMUCFest, hanging out with really fun people and meeting new people, party hopping on saturday and dancing like crazy, getting to know Matt, and then the WMUC board game. Seriously I can't even remember everything that happened. All I know is lots of amazing times.
Plus this week I got another tattoo. It was a crazy couple of days but I'm uber happy about everything. Too bad I think I am getting sick. and this week is going to be so freaking busy what with the Reunion. I have lots to do this week. eeps. I might be getting sick too. ah well. can't expect everything to be perfect all the time. But I'll definitely be on this high for awhile. Especially since halloween and my birthday are coming up fast. I have a shit load to look forward to. :):):)
There's some pictures up on the facebook if you want to see a glimspe of this sweet ass weekend.

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[10 Oct 2006|12:08pm]
my sleep schedule is beyond fucked up.
On another note, I really want grits and toast. I didn't expect to have such a craving for good old southern cooking. Whose going to help me out here?
Lastly, I forgot what I was going to say but it was among the same lines as these things. Man I really wish I could remember.
4 comments|post comment

[23 Sep 2006|01:21pm]
So the last couple of days have been extremely rough. Its weird to have so many different people depending on you and all of them are depending on you for different things. I've been so stressed with things. Especially now that I feel like my body is giving up on me. I'm 20 and I've been to the doctors more times then anyone I know this past year. And not for sick reasons but instead things not working correctly. It's hard because my head hasn't given up yet and its trying so hard to motivate the rest of me to do what needs to get done. But what with my knees hurting, migranes and now these chest pains, it gets really hard to push myself. It sorta scares the shit out of me to be honest. Last night, sitting in the ER, I really didn't have a clue what to do. It felt like the inside of my chest was being squeezed so tightly, my vision was blurred, and my entire body felt like it was just giving up. Don't worry though. I'm fine. Pretty much everything is okay as far as the Doctor is concerend. Though truth be told he doesn't really know what to think of it and blamed it on the excessive sun I got the last couple of days. They took an EKG and it came out good. Blood pressue is a little low but that doesn't really explain much. Hopefully the quitting smoking completely will help with everything. I promised a friend of mine that I would do it for him. And now I just have another reason. You know, not dying. I think its going to be harder to quit then last time though. I really love smoking. But we'll see.
I believe in myself. I know I can make it through this year. And I know other people really believe in me too. Which helps a lot.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
3 comments|post comment

[12 Sep 2006|06:42pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I really want a dog more than anything ever. I can't wait till I move out of commons and into a place that allows them. seriously, if I had a dog life would be perfect.

7 comments|post comment

[06 Sep 2006|02:35am]
There are a lot of things people don't know about me. For whatever reason. The reasons they don't know don't really matter so much as the things I want people to know. I'm so horribly bad at expressing myself its not even funny. By expressing myself I am not refering to the way I dress or the hairstyle I have or the ways I choose to modify my body but rather by the emotions I have. I don't think people know how much I care. I don't think they know how much I love them. Not to be a total downer but growing up my family did not express love to each other. We did not hug. We did not kiss. We were emotionally distance. Through experiences I was taught that emotions were a sign of weakness. We did not cry. We did not laugh. And we didn't talk. When I was hurting and needed comfort, I was told to clean my room. It would make me feel better. So as I grew up, I remained that way. I did not tell people how much they meant to me no matter what. I still don't hug people. I hang back in crowds. I don't grow attached to people and if I do, they don't really know the impact they've had on me. I wish there was an easy way for me to tell people that I care about them and that they mean the world to me. I wish I could be one of those people who give hugs all the time. I don't think people know that I would walk to the end of the earth for them. I don't think people know how much I care. I don't hate. If there is one thing that I have learned in life is that hate is a waste of time and by having it you only end up hurting yourself. Even the people who have hurt me the most in life, I still care about and still treasure what they have given me. I don't even dislike people. I really do love everyone and though it seems I may say love a lot, I don't want that to take away from the real meaning it has. For me, its a strong binding emotion. Not some bullshit way of saying you half-heartly care for someone. But rather a feeling that when the person whom you love moves out of your life for whatever reason you'll be touched by the memories they have left you. All the memories. Even the ones you thought were bad at the time. I wish there was a way to right all the things I've done. I know I have said some mean things to people or about people but truthfully I never meant them. I don't know why I even say things and if you really knew me you'd know that I don't generally talk shit about people. I usually stick up for them. I know I hang out with people who talk a lot of shit but really I just listen. I think the main reason I would ever say something hurtful is if that person hurt me. Which is not a good excuse I know, but its an easy way of protecting myself. By building up these walls against them. By saying something mean, I am able to push them out of the immediate area of my head and push out the reason I let them in in the first place. So here's my apology if I ever hurt you. And here's my apology for not being able to express how much you mean to me.
And now, I'd like to say a few words to first all the friends I have on eljay, I wish I was able to tell those who don't read this how I feel but written words are the only way I know. I don't expect anything in return and nor do I necessairly want it. Just...take what I have to say seriously because this is me opening up. This is me opening way up and I need a reason for me to feel safe opening up.
Read more...Collapse )

after re-reading this I sort of sounds like a "goodbye, thanks for the memories, I am killing myself now." but its really not like that at all. It's just the easiest way to tell y'all how you've affected my life and that I think you're truly kick ass. I'm really happy and proud to know people like you.
8 comments|post comment

[05 Aug 2006|04:58pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

So, I know I don't really know how to drive but I've been dreaming about this car ever since forever. It's a 1968 Pontiac Lemans Convertable. Blue sparkly paint job with a white soft top with white leather interior.
It needs a shit load of work but I've been comtemplating learning how to fix cars and trying to get this car already for next summer. It drives like a beast but she's fucking beautiful.

This is not the actual car but it gives you an idea.
It was my Dad's car when he was in college and I've been bugging him about it for YEARS. Recently he said I could have it if Xzibit was willing to "pimp my ride" which is highly doubtful but if I can save up the money I could at least attempt to get it running again which would be a start. Man I love this car. All day at work I've been scowering the internet for pictures/prices/parts for a Lemans. Buying a redone one doesn't cost that much [$15,000 or so]. I guess the first step is to find out whats all wrong with it and how much I'll have to invest to get her back to her old self again.
Sometimes wish I took mechanics classes in high school instead of art, just to have this car.
Or at the least knew someone who was good with cars.
I can't get over the fact that its so freaking beautiful.
Just look at her!

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It's true, I am amazing. [28 Jul 2006|01:22am]
[ mood | giddy ]

Remeber that time I was Giner Spice and hand sewed a british flag dress?Collapse )

7 comments|post comment

[25 Jul 2006|11:32pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I know I act all hardcore and like the pain doesn't really matter but its really one of the worst pains I've had [minus migranes and eating cement]. The only reason why I continue to walk around on it is because it keeps me distracted. I called my doctor and he told me what to do but I'll probably go to the health center tomorrow.
I feel like I get injured more than one should.
You know the ball in the knee? it sort of moves around and I can hear the cartliege making funny sounds. Nice, huh? I'm not sure what I did. Probably overused the knee with all the working out and shit. I've never had the best of knees.
This blows my balls. I don't like being incapable of doing shit.

8 comments|post comment

Let me see you do it. [13 Jul 2006|04:59pm]
[ mood | silly ]

I think the world is trying to tell me to get grills...
The number of times "Snap ya fingers" has randomly shown up in my life in just this week alone tells me so.

T.G.F.L.J.

2 comments|post comment

[13 Jul 2006|08:59am]
[ mood | happy ]

Can I just tell you how amazing Mel and I are? We've been at the gym everyday this week and today we woke up at 6:15am to go. We're looking pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

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What are you going to be when you grow up? [28 Jun 2006|12:30pm]
[ mood | content ]

"ovariescanbefun: You are going to open up a record store, an actual for serious record store where you only sell records, none of that casette tape or compact disc nonsense. In fact, if anyone even mentions DVD's in the store, they get barred for a week.

You will have everything available on vinyl, even the crappy pop music that no one who shops in that place would buy anyway. And I mean everything, whether it was released on vinyl or not. People like your store because they always find something new there - a Hendryx album they never heard of, a few Sex Pistols singles they are almost certain never existed. Things like that. People always ask you what's playing, but you just shrug. You take a blank album out of an empty sleeve every morning. What plays, plays.

At least once a week someone you don't know will come up to you and say, "you know, my dad used to own a record store just like this," and you'll just nod."

If this is my actual future, I am excitied.

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[22 Jun 2006|02:36am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

So apparently the DC Metro is allowing this ex-gay religious group to advertise on the metro. It kind of pisses me off [not to mention the pro-life ads but that's a different story]. My friend wrote them a letter about it and they responded about some bullshit about first amendment rights and anyone being aloud to advertise as long as it wasn't pornographic. Which bothers me on several levels.
First of all, pornographic images are not allowed because they offend someone. But everything else is allowed no matter if it offends someone or not.
Second, if there were ads about how one should change their race, or religion, because thier current race or religion is wrong, then this would be considered discrimination and no way would DC Metro allow it. So whats the difference?

So many things at the moment makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Just because of the stupidity and the frusteration of it all. It is just not my day.

4 comments|post comment

[17 Jun 2006|01:11am]
+random guy I have never seen in my life: "You work at the radio station right? Yeah, I even know your name. You're famous" [creepy!]

edit: I had another such moment tonight. This girl swears she met me before and that she waves to me on campus. I have no idea who she is. SO yeah either 1) people stop looking like me or 2) people stop knowing me. kthnxbye.
3 comments|post comment

eljay layout [15 Jun 2006|11:15pm]
I think I fixed thr problem...
3 comments|post comment

[14 Jun 2006|11:13pm]
[ mood | restless ]

Look what I did today
Things have been kind of crappy the past two days but that's mostly because I've been really hard on myself. I finally got the eljay design finalized and I really like how it turned out. I think I might change the design whenever I get the chance/bored of the current one. That and spending some time with Mel has changed my mood around a bit. I just really want this week to be done with the hope that things will change around next week.
Anyway, tell me what you think.

6 comments|post comment

[07 Jun 2006|01:08am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Hershey Park 2K6

1 comment|post comment

[02 Jun 2006|10:56pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Need I say more?Collapse )
pictures from Hershey Park Hijinks soon to come. Stay tuned.

3 comments|post comment

summer viewing [31 May 2006|12:31am]
Recommend some movies for me.
ALL OF YOU.

If you're lucky,
I will get the movie
and make you popcorn
and we will have a party.

Thank You and Good Night.
10 comments|post comment

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